Born: Markus Daniel Frydman

Sandra and I woke up on Saturday morning to run a couple of errands and have dinner at my parents' house. The first thing we did was go and pick out our granite slab for our kitchen. The next part of our day was a routine check up at the OBGYN. That's when everything changed...

Our doctor informed us that we would have to deliver the baby that day! Sandra's blood pressure had been rising and had reached a level of 140/80, a condition known as preeclampsia. Preeclampsia is high blood pressure due to pregnancy and the only "cure" is to deliver. Sandra has never had any blood pressure problems and the doctor was not worried, but concerned because the condition can go from mild to severe quickly. In addition, Sandra had trace amounts of protein in her urine and above average weight gain the past two weeks, which all were signs of preeclampsia. He instructed us to go home, get our hospital bag and meet him in the hospital later that night.

Things became pretty surreal quickly. We grabbed our stuff, ate at a McDonalds drive-thru on the way, and arrived at the hospital around 5:00 p.m. Saturday. To help treat the preeclampsia, Sandra had to be hooked up to an IV of magnesium, which helps relax and lower the blood pressure. This was upsetting as we had always hoped to get as close to a natural birth as possible. Nonetheless, for the health and safety of Sandra and the baby, this had to be done. In addition, the doctors started inducing the labor. This was all very scary and nerve-wracking. The induction started by softening the cervix with Cytotec, a drug that must be taken every 4 hours and at least three of them before another drug (Pitocin) is used to begin contractions. So twelve hours later (3 cytotec pills later -- 7:00 p.m., 11:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m.), Pitocin was added to the IV and contractions began.

I can only describe the next 24 hours as a nightmare labor and delivery. Watching my beautiful wife being hooked up to an IV and having all these drugs pumped into her was really difficult to endure. I understood the conditions that we were up against, but it was tough. Not only was it tough for me to watch her, but knowing how much it was upsetting her was the hard part. I had to be there for her, to comfort her, and to help guide her through this delivery. Without getting into more detail, we tried this for a long time and each hour was agonizing to watch.

It was now sometime around midnight on Sunday when a new doctor came in and decided to speed things up by breaking Sandra's water. This increased the contractions, and Sandra was feeling intense pain. Sandra was great about the pain, but after so many hours, we got to the point where Sandra decided to have an epidural shot. I don't remember the time, but this was around Sunday night. The anesthesiologist explained that due to Sandra's MS, there was higher risk with an epidural. As if we weren't wound up tight enough, this was just another emotional and psychological setback for both of us. It was the right thing to do, but this was also a traumatic experience. The whole process took 15 minutes or so, as the doctor had to try a few times to get the epidural correct. They were being extra careful with Sandra. Those might have been the longest 15 minutes of my life. We were now entering 24+ hours of labor and the epidural helped calm Sandra down. In fact, I think Sandra was able to get some sleep during this time. By the way, that McDonalds meal and some pasta at the hospital when we arrived was all the Sandra had eaten/was allowed to eat. So hunger was another factor in this trauma.

The entire time there was a monitor for the baby's heart and it started around ~130-150 bpm, but later it slowed down to the 110 bpm baseline. I felt terrible, as I knew it was the preeclampsia drugs causing the slower rate. Nonetheless, this was still a healthy and acceptable rate. The issue started when Sandra was 7 centimeters dilated and at each contraction the baby's heart rate slowed to ~90 bpm. The doctor couldn't understand why this was happening and why the cervix didn't have the pressure of the baby's head. The decision to do a cesarean section was made, but again it was difficult because we'd been told that due to the MS, spinal anesthesia, the usual form for c-sections, was not possible and Sandra didn't want general anesthesia. The doctors explained they could do it through the epidural. Just more scariness to compound the already taxing experience.

The doctors took Sandra away to the operating room to prepare for the c-section. They gave me scrubs and told me to wait outside while they prepared. This was the first time over the course of the entire experience that I became very nervous and scared. I was alone in my operating uniform and just scared because the whole experience just felt wrong from the beginning. I tried to breathe slowly in and out, and I was just reflecting on the whole event. It was probably 10 minutes, but again it felt like a lifetime. They finally called me into the operating room.

I went behind the blue curtain to be next to Sandra, who was laid out on the table, loaded with drugs. Again, a difficult sight for me to handle, but it was all so surreal. Everything the doctor said made us scared. Finally, we heard the sound of a baby and the doctor asked us if we wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. YES! It was a boy and we knew that Markus was born.

Since he was born early (anything earlier than 38 weeks is early, and Markus was 37 weeks 4 days), they had to take him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I was allowed to come around and see him being cleaned up, and then they put him down next to Sandra's face for some time. She couldn't touch him because of the way her arms were restrained for the surgery, but she was able to give him a kiss on the cheek and wish him a happy birthday. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. The doctors then took Markus to the NICU.

As they were stitching Sandra up after the operation, Sandra could feel the pain of the sutures. This was absolutely terrible and I was so angry and upset. The anesthesiologist continued to pump morphine and who knows what into Sandra, but it wasn't working. Again, this lasted probably 15-20 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. FINALLY, it was all over and they carted off my wife to the recovery room. I left to walk back into the labor room and I just broke down and cried for a while. The weight of the past few days finally took its toll and I was also overwhelmed with joy about Markus.

Markus had to stay in the NICU because he had some magnesium in his blood so they put him on IV and didn't start feeding him yet. Babies who have magnesium have a hard time getting their digestive systems working. It was incredible and magical to see him, but also heartbreaking. I knew he was okay, and the nurses said he was fine. He was born 6 pounds, 15 ounces, so he was big for a premature baby. He looked peaceful and was just sleeping most of the time.

Sandra had to be on IV for 24 hours after the birth to help treat the blood pressure and they wouldn't allow her to see Markus during that time. Not to keep repeating myself, but this was very sad. I was allowed to go down and take pictures of Markus and then show them to Sandra. Although things were okay (in some weird way), the emotional battle continued.

After all of this turmoil (which included over 24 hours of IV antibiotics after Sandra spiked a fever on Tuesday night), we are happy and blessed that we have a healthy baby boy. Sandra got to see and feed Markus the next morning and we were discharged from the hospital on Thursday.

Our parenting now begins...